The title pretty much covers it.
Depression is the world's most effective gaslighter.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but that doesn't mean you should be writing a thousand words to paint a picture.
You can't learn how to use the tools if you don't use the tools.
THE COLD BETWEEN is about belonging, REMNANTS OF TRUST is about revenge, BREACH OF CONTAINMENT is about sacrifice, and I think CONDITION OF WAR is going to be about grief.
Your exhaustion doesn't matter. Your bitterness, your sense of unfairness, your wish for the universe to be something other than it is--none of that matters. You're not playing "the only way to win" anymore. You never were. You're playing "the only way to not lose horribly and catastrophically."
I thought I was a hopeless naif going into all this, but really the most naive thing I did was allow myself to keep believing that.